three weeks

I just finished reading a novel about 3 women who were given the chance to go back in time and relive any three weeks of their life they chose. At the end of the 3 weeks they were brought back to present time, and given the choice to continue their lives the way it played out originally, or to choose the new life created by changing three weeks. (Summerhouse by Jude Deveraux) Of course to make the story interesting the women chose to go back and change encounters they had with men and choices they made in the past that they felt were making them miserable now.

Not that I am anywhere near being miserable, but my mind wandered off into "What if's", and I started wondering which three weeks I would choose if I was given the choice. A few years ago, I may have chosen a path that would let me pursue my "career" as an engineer with no worry of day cares and school systems, or how often we would be able to visit grandparents. Maybe I would have used my foresight to convince Brian to choose a position where he wasn't going to get laid off after a couple years, or where I would certainly have an engineering job available to me even if he didn't. I could have chosen a life that provided a more substantial income, more vacations, a bigger house with a bigger TV, more shopping trips just because. 

But then I came out of 'what if' land and looked around me. At a house that I had helped design every detail of and had a hand in almost every step of building. A view that is gorgeous even on a day that makes you want to curl up and hide inside. Two adorable blonde boys that I wouldn't trade for the world (even when they are driving me and each other mad). An amazing husband who helped make most of those things possible, and even puts up with me when I can barely put up with myself. 

Of course there are things that would be nice if they could be changed... a few less months waiting for paper work and excavators so we could start building our house, being able to spend more time with Aiden while the house was being built and Connor was turning his life as he knew it upside down, and having a larger budget to work with so we could have done all the "we can add that later" stuff right away.

Then there are the things that I would like to have changed that I'm currently working on... a few less baby pounds around the middle, a few more dollars in our savings account, and of course a little (or a lot) less guilt about staying home with the boys when our budget is tighter than we would like.

So which three weeks would I choose?

Honestly, I love what I do, and when I actually have the courage and the discipline to do it right it, my Mary Kay business makes life so much less stressful. I feel successful, Brian can relax and enjoy the time he has alone with the boys, and everyone is happy. So I would go back to July 10, 2009, the day after I started my Mary Kay business, and I would take all the knowledge I have gained in the last 2 years and I would take off running and never stop!! I wouldn't let the small things discourage me, I would force myself to learn the discipline to work this business as a business. I would ignore the voices in my head that convinced me not to pick up the phone to ask SO many times. I wouldn't let it take me 2 years to figure out that the only way to fail is to quit. (and of course I would choose to remember what I know now so the house would get started in May, not August, and who knows what else)

But of course, there is no magic time machine that could send me back. So I will have to accept that the house got built (no matter how stressful it was), that we will always have more projects on the to do list, no matter how many we cross off, and that right now the best things in life had better be free, cause otherwise they're probably not in the budget.

As for taking off running and never quitting... I am FINALLY at a point in my business that I feel the work I have done in the past starting to pay off, and I just have to keep myself working to keep it that way. I may not have gotten where I want to be yet, and I may not have gotten to this point as quickly as I wanted, but I'm here now, and I know HOW to get where I want. I have to keep working. Working smart, working consistently, and NEVER quitting.

And whenever I get to where I want to be now, I hope that I want to do more and be more, and that if given the chance, that I would have nothing to go back and change.

Boys will be boys...

I am soooo glad the weather is finally nice out, and so are the boys!! Aiden has been spending as much time outside as we will let him. Riding his bike (he is getting really good, now he just needs a slightly larger bike), driving his dump truck and Tonka crane around the yard, and a lot of the time... picking up rocks! At the age of "more than 4 and three quarters, almost 5" Aiden is still thrilled to get to help pick up rocks, put them in his trucks, and drive them to the next pile (or dump them in the pond).

Today after lunch we decided to head outside and get some fresh air (and burn off a little energy) before the boys' naps. I didn't really feel like picking up rocks, but Aiden was all for it, so I picked up a few here and there as we walked around the pond. As we got most of the way around the pond, Aiden decided he needed to go potty. Only he didn't tell me he needed to go, he just pulled down his pants and peed. With his pants around his ankles. Facing the ditch. 20 feet from a state highway. (and from what I saw, I think he was trying to write his name in the dirt, or water most of the ditch)

I have 2 sisters, raising boys is filled with new experiences, and this was one of them. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing as I told him to pull up his pants and explained that he couldn't go pee just anywhere, even if he was out by the pond. He said "Oh, so if I have to go potty outside, I should go over there by the woods, 'cause its OK to pee in the woods" Again trying really hard not to laugh (not sure it worked that time) I just nodded and said, "Sure"

- T-Ball -

So t-ball started yesterday for Aiden, (and about 25 other 3-5 year olds). Aiden has been looking forward to t-ball for weeks. Sunday night, Aiden asked at least 4 times if he needed to get up early for t-ball? Would there be time to play before t-ball? Did we have his glove to take along? At 9pm, I was still trying to assure him that there was no need to be up early to go to t-ball at 9:30am.... so of course he bounced out of bed at 6:15 AM.  And by 6:30, we had reached 20 questions about t-ball practice. By the time we left the house at 9 I was about ready to have an anxiety attack from all the what-if's and why's and what about's... and I just had to go drop him off and pick him up!! 

I was pretty sure there wouldn't actually be a t-ball game occurring during the first 45 minute t-ball practice, especially when I found out there were 25 kids and 2 adults! Aiden, however, seemed thoroughly disappointed that they ONLY got to practice throwing, getting the ball into their gloves, catching, running bases, and batting. "We didn't actually play t-ball" was his response to anyone asking how the first day of t-ball went.   

-Thing 2 -

Connor is now 11 months, has 10 teeth, and is still using anything that will move as a walker. 

He has cut 2 new teeth in the last 2 week, one 12month molar, and one tooth on the bottom between the teeth he has and the large lump where yet another molar is trying to come through. He is still working on the other 3 molars, and probably the other bottom tooth. Needless to say, he's had some very grumpy evenings, and lots of sleepy days.

Remembering how difficult it was to get Aiden to take whole milk instead of formula, I decided to buy a small carton of milk and start getting Connor used to it. I gave him about an ounce with his lunch, and he sucked it right down!! He won't drink straight water, but milk he seems to love. At first I was a little confused as to how switching Connor could be so easy, when Aiden had fussed about it for weeks! Then I remembered, Connor was already used to the sippy cup and he was used to drinking his formula cold... 2 changes we tried to make at the same time as switching Aiden from formula to milk. 

I just kind of smiled and thought, "oh the things you learn from the first child that makes the second one easier". Then Connor looked at Aiden, stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at him, and Aiden did it right back. And I thought... "oh the things the second one learns from the first one that will make this so much more difficult!!"